Big Fuckin Deal AGAIN….

SO, its been forever, who cares really? I don’t.  I can tell you I’M TIRED. I ain’t gonna lie, i work to much. I work cuz I love what I do, I work cuz i’m good at it. Its the only think I think I actually do about 90% well…. or is it 90%good? ah what ever.. its the one thing I think  I can do.

So, just saw on the news people are walking with wooden crosses on their backs so they can ‘see what Jesus felt’…. Do we seriously think that is something we could achieve?? even an inkling of the pain Jesus felt as he died for us, if that is what you believe…. I believe it. WHY NOT? Really… what have I got to lose.  Nothing BAD can happen for believing in Jesus and such….  ah what~~ its what I believe… you believe what you want to, I ain’t chancing it  🙂 i am not crazy.

I was just dropping in to make sure I can still type something of sense.  I really haven’t got anything to say right now…. I’m sure that will change as I stay off my meds… WISH SI and KID well…………… LOL

Air, The

SO, today is a new day. Big fucking deal~ everyday is a new one right? every minute is a new beginning, blah blah blah…. what if- this is all it. I am so fucked~ I just can’t see that its going to get any better or any worse.  I have a good life, I have a GREAT SI, and an amazing kid- I guess.  I mean~ define amazing kid…. I love said kid, my heart aches when said kid hurts or cry’s.  Kid is average. happy, semi- healthy, friends.  I wish said kid would go out and cause trouble, i wish Kid would date, i feel bad Kid doesn’t date.  IS it my fault Kid doesn’t date. Did I fuck Kid up?  I never thought I’d be a parent, I’m not sure I’m any good at it. I’m not sure I didn’t totally fuck Kid up… Did i fuck kid up?? SHIT!  I fucked Kid up didn’t I?

Life if life isn’t it.  What i do with it is my business.   Is it SI business too?  How much of it is SI business?  It is what it is isn’t it.